I have to accept that my real journal will never be replaced by this or any other blog. My journal sits on the table, under the bed, in a hot car and waits for me like a good old friend. It is not judgemental, it does not care if I write in it right away or if I leave it alone for years. My journal is a friend. It has no opinions of its own and no audience. This blog, on the other hand, has no patience  and will take no excuses from me. I can’t feel like I am in control of it, because even after a few months I can tell that it wants to be written, changed… it wants to be used. There is no limit to its pages.

It is flexible and ever changing.

It is unique.

This blog knew that it was being ignored. I can tell you, it did not like that. I tried to resist it, but it haunted me in my dreams. I dreamt of ideas, stories to write and posts to edit. Every morning I woke up this computer and this blog gave me its electric stare that it is impossible to shake off. I can not resist it. Today, I’ve decided that I just need to write- anything, words, stories, a post after a post, day in and day out. It has to be done.

If my blog stands still that means that I also stand still. I am empty. I am not interesting. I have nothing to say and even less to share. I cannot experiment and thus I cannot evolve. It will evolve into something else.

An empty blog with broken promises.

If I decided to start this- I should continue and so should you. It is after all same as going to the gym, eating healthy, staying on track, and succeeding… Once you start you can not stop. If you got the gym once a year, what is the point?

This blog is not a journal, it is an exploration. It doesn’t let me go if I am not interested. It mocks me with its calender that counts the days that I have not used for writing. It keeps the score.